Archive for the ‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’ Category

It’s all relative…

March 18, 2009

Yesterday, I had my second-to-last Appropriate Practices for Infants and Toddlers class which is a class I have to take for my job. Basically, it’s everything I already knew and a “If You Don’t Have Common Sense, Here’s What To Do,” type of course.

Anyway, my instructor who is a director for a Catholic church daycare, had her supervisor in class and she was observing her. And I could tell that my instructor was nervous and trying to do her best. I felt for her because I knew what that was like. She wasn’t herself and had trouble remembering words (English is actually her second language, although she speaks it very well with a slight accent).

Just 5 months ago, I was in the same position. I had spent the past 2 1/2 years thinking I was going to be an elementary school teacher. I would have graduated with my Bachelor’s in December except my last internship went terribly. You can read all about it here. I was interning in a fourth-grade classroom and had 2 teachers supervising me every single day. Once they left the classroom, I was so much more comfortable and things came easier for me.

But when my teachers were in the classroom, I was nervous and fidgeting and trying to remember my words, and English is my first language! Needless to say, my so-called supervising teachers (they didn’t do much supervising. . .) told my supervising professor (who never had much faith in me to begin with) that they couldn’t pass me which caused me to change my major, lose my financial aid, and force me to pay for my own schooling.

I still catch myself daydreaming about being a teacher, though. Just the other day, I was thinking about room arrangements and how classroom’s I’ve been in have arranged classrooms and how I would arrange my classroom someday. Until I realized that I will never have my own classroom. I get a little melancholy when I drive by elementary schools.

I really enjoyed the kids, especially the fourth-graders of my last class. They are full of energy and life and tell the best stories ever! I mean, I love my babies and toddlers and when I’m helping out in the older kids’ rooms, that’s fun, too. That’s what makes me a little sad about not doing elementary education anymore. The kids made all of it worthwhile.

I am happy with my new major and I think it’s the right fit for me. But I still miss those fun classes where we did art projects and pretended that we were seven years old again and I definitely miss those cheeky kids.


Sick as a dog

March 10, 2009

Sunday, I got sick with the dreaded 24-hour flu.

I don’t remember the last time I have been that sick. The nearest I can remember is when I was in 5th grade and got the flu from my brother. My mom had all-day training for her job and I was stuck at home with my dad. He’s not the best nurse.

He actually asked me why I couldn’t make it to the bathroom and got sick in the trash can. Um, sorry, but cleaning up after your sick kids is what you signed up for when…you know…

I was so weak, I couldn’t even lay in bed and read. I didn’t even really sleep because I was never that comfortable. I just kinda laid around and dozed.

And it made me think of my grandma who went through over SIX MONTHS of feeling way worse than I did. She was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer in May and is now completely healed but there were many days where she didn’t even have the energy to get dressed.

After Sunday, I can totally see where she’s coming from. Then I had to go and get a RAGING headache later that night and we had no Advil in the house at all. I felt like a million tiny hammers were beating against my head. It was terrible.

Luckily, I woke up Monday feeling much, much better. The last thing I wanted to do is call in sick. Yesterday was my one-month anniversary! 🙂

Now, if I can go another 10 years without getting the flu, I’d be happy.

No doubt

March 7, 2009

This past week I had a heart-to-heart with my mom. Basically, we talked about my school and credit cards and how we’re going to pay my school back and get on track with my credit cards.

And we were just talking about how stupid the college system is in Florida and how she wishes she could pay for my tuition (which is a moot point. She can’t. Oh, well. Move on.). And then I told her, “I know, without a doubt, that I am going to be a published author. That’s what I was meant to do.”

It was kind of a defining moment for me. I don’t think I expected those words to come out of my mouth, really. But it’s so true.

See, I was the girl who used my Barbies and dolls to re-enact stories from childhood books or stories from my own head.

I was much happier perusing the school supplies section of Wal-Mart, searching for new notebooks and pens to write stories in.

A notebook was never far from my reach as I wrote plot after plot. I was much more interested in creating characters and plotlines than actual stories. It’s so fun to make a figment of your imagination come to life on paper.

Writing has been in my blood for as long as I can remember. I don’t daydream about Brad Pitt or George Clooney. I daydream about my stories.

And while my major is journalism and not creative writing, I think I’m sticking with it. Many journalists become fiction writers, after all. It gets your foot in the door and your name out there. And it’s fun.

I also have a great story idea that if I could just find time (and a computer!) to write, I know it’d be a winner. It’s a new concept but in that fun chick-lit way. But not the age-old girl-turns-30-finds-out-she’s-single-and-suddenly-has-3-men-after-her-who-does-she-choose type of way.

It’s gonna rock.

It was inevitable

February 24, 2009

Yesterday, I told a coworker of mine that I thought I was getting a sore throat last week but it went away.

And lo and behold, what decides to come back later that day? You’ve got it. A sore throat. And it brought it’s friend, Stuffy Nose, with him. Blegh.

I knew it was inevitable. Preschools are notorious for germs and even though I wash my hands religiously, I guess my immune system hasn’t built itself up yet.

When I started working at my old preschool, I got sick within the first week and even though I worked there for 10 months, I was out of daycare for almost a year so I guess my immune system got bad again. My mom, who worked in daycare for 17 years before leaving, can’t even remember the last time she had a sore throat (besides this time now, I had one in September), a cold (December 2007 for about SIX WEEKS! I was convinced I had bronchitis), or a stuffed nose (I have one now, and I had one in September). Lucky duck.

Needless to say, all I want right now is some vanilla bean ice cream. Mmm.

Save yo drama for yo momma

February 21, 2009

So Friday, February 13th, I “officially” started my new job. I had gone for assessments on Monday and Tuesday for 3 hours each and orientation on Wednesday and Thursday at their headquarters.

So this past week was my first full week. And I just have to say I. . .


I love it, love it, love it. I really, really hope I don’t look back at this post in 3 months and shake my head at my stupidity. 😉

The job is great. I’m usually hanging out with scrumptious babies or energetic toddlers. And they are all so cute and so adorable and so much fun! I have a blast.

But the drama? Oh. My. God. It’s just insane.

Here’s the run-down (using popular celebrity baby’s names! Booya!)

  • Suri doesn’t like Harlow. Harlow doesn’t like Suri. They had a blow-up sometime before I started and wowza, the tension between the two is amazing.
  • Since Harlow doesn’t like Suri, neither does Violet. Harlow and Violet are tight, yo.
  • And then there’s Shiloh. Well, Suri doesn’t like Shiloh for some reason. I don’t know why. But Violet and Honor love Shiloh. Shiloh is so nice to them and even brings them breakfast in the morning!
  • And Violet and Honor also don’t really like Stella because of the way she runs her classroom (personally, I don’t see anything wrong with it).

I think that’s the run-down. Got all that? Man. It’s just insane. Drama, drama, drama. And here I thought I left high school! All I know is this: I like everyone. I made a mistake at my former job getting involved in the drama and telling people when other people said things about them (not my brightest moment, I know) and not liking other people because of what people said about them. But I’m not doing that here. Until you do something against me or I see you do something stupid with the kids, I’m fine with you. We’re pals, buddies, the whole she-bang. And I’m not getting involved in your drama. Save it for yo momma, ‘kay?

In other news, still no computer. Blegh. I had a dream that my old one started working but in my dream I knew I was having a dream about it. How weird is that? But I get paid on Friday so I’m probably going to head on over to Aaron’s next Saturday and get my brother to sell me a computer. I guess. I need one. The sad news is that I had tons and tons of documents saved and even 2 scholarship essays saved that I didn’t back up so those are all probably lost.

So sad.

Anyway, today is Anisah’s bridal shower so I must quickly get all my work done here so I can get ready and celebrate! 🙂

The Bay – A brand-new reality series

February 14, 2009

I’m thinking of approaching MTV or FOX or some channel for a reality TV series. Because my life would make an excellent show. Honestly. There’s never a dull moment.

Let’s recap the past 2 1/2 days:

-I go to my orientation at the main office which I’m almost late to but make it right on time.

-Afterwards, I have some time to kill so I head to Panera to get some free WiFi and a delicious Icy Mocha. And for the past few weeks, the cord on our ready-for-the-nursing-home laptop hasn’t been working. We’ll plug it in but it acts like it’s working on battery power. And since this laptop is, oh, about 5 years old, it’s battery lasts about 5 minutes before it dies. So we have to jimmy the cord and blow on the socket to get it to go to cord power. So, I’m at Panera and can I do my gymnastics to get it working there? No. I can’t. So I’m trying to finish writing an article for my class that’s due at midnight and luckily, I was able to e-mail the story to myself before it died. And it’s been dead ever since. We need a new cord.

-Go to Mark’s apartment later that night, finish the story and send it off into cyberspace, play with my freaking delicious nephew for a while, watch American Idol (find out it’s TWO hours, not ONE and miss about 20 minutes, and in those 20 minutes they happened to mention the best friends and I guess the widower made it but the other didn’t? GAY!), and go home.

-Mention to my mother, “Say, do you know where my social security card is?” Spend the hour after AI tearing apart my room looking for the card and, yeah, my social security card IS MISSING! Although, nobody would want to steal my identity. I have $20,000 in school loans and another $3,000 in credit card bills and no stocks or any of that crap to my name. Good luck! Cry, whine, shut down. My usual thing. Mom gives me my birth certificate, saying they might take that. I say they won’t.

-Go to “intake” where I sign my life away for this job and the sweet H.R. lady says the 11 most precious words in the English language (at least on that day): Do you have your social security card or your birth certificate? And suddenly a halo appears around her head and a choir of angels begin singing, “Hallelujah!”

-All my problems solved, I continue signing my life away, find out I’m making the most I’ve ever made at this job, and have a quarter-tank of gas left to go to the other side of town to be fingerprinted and take a drug test (ewie!) and then back to the other side of town to give them the paperwork, then back to the other side of town to go home. And as I’m driving right out of my complex to pick Mom up from work, our gas light comes on. I have about a buck in my bank account, Mom has a little over so she transfers money so now I’ve got TWO DOLLARS AND NINETY-NINE CENTS to buy gas with. I manage to get to our nearest gas station (which actually isn’t so near. . .) and fill ‘er up. One and a half gallons. Woohoo! Gets us back to a quarter tank of gas – which can get us pretty far.

-Get some mail, saying since I stopped attending classes on October 29th, 2008, I owe USF over $700 and can’t register for classes until then. Yippee! I only need about $1,400 to pay stupid USF. Don’t they make enough money?

-Yesterday, go to Hell-Mart to buy a plug, find out, buy it, find out it’s not a LAPTOP PLUG! Um, we obviously don’t know how to read directions. So now we’re back to square one.

And that’s not the worst of it! The worst of it is that I actually started WRITING MY STORY that I’m going to get published and make millions with and left it at the hair salon! BLEGH! It was freakin’ awesome, too.

Anyway, so I had to wake up early to go to the library, where I am now. I took a test for my class (made an A!), e-mailed some people for my next stupid article, and caught up with my Celebrity Baby Blog (I haven’t read it for FOUR days! Do you know how much can happen in the baby world in four days? I’ll tell you: Kevin Costner’s wife had her baby and Mira Sorvino announced she’s preggers again AND Foo Fighter’s Dave Grohl announced they were expecting a girl!).

Anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day! Mom and I bought some cheap-o chocolate at Hell-Mart and it was disgusting. If I wasn’t so addicted to chocolate, I’d never eat it again.


February 10, 2009

Apparently, I’m 21 years old. It says so on my birth certificate (well, of course it doesn’t say I’m 21 – it says November 28, 1987 but you get my drift…). I don’t look 21.

Honestly, I could pass for a middle-schooler. Three examples:

July 9, 2008
My mom had surgery (the day after her 30th birthday! ;)) so being the totally awesome, daughter-of-the-year I am, I was with her the entire time. From driving to the hospital for surgery until they released (the next day). Anyway, Mom introduced me to one of her nurses and here’s the conversation:

Mom: She’s studying to become a teacher. She goes to USF.
Nurse: Oh, wow. I thought you were 13 or 14.

Mmm…thanks. Way to boost the ego, lady! I went out to dinner later that night and the nurse asked where I was, commenting, “I keep forgetting she can drive! I keep thinking she’s 13.”

December 2008
I’m in Target, looking longingly at all the presents I could buy my mom but unsure of how much money was on my credit card. So I was walking around, holding things I know I wasn’t going to buy but trying to look like a regular Christmas shopper when a lady draws me into a conversation about batteries.

Lady: Do you think Duracell or Energizer are longer-lasting?
Me: Um…I don’t know. I just use Energizer.
(Honestly, I usually use the batteries that are on sale. Moving on…)
Lady: Yeah, OK. I think I’ll get the four-pack. They’re cheaper.”
Me: “Yeah…”
Lady: “I need them for a game for my kids. Everything seems to need batteries these days!”
Me: (chuckles a little) “Yeah…”
Lady: How old are you?
Me: 21.
Lady: Oh, I though you were 16!

Actually, sixteen is the oldest I’ve been thought of so that’s kind of exciting. I should’ve said something snarky like, “Oh, and it’s Senior Day at Target! Those batteries will be 20% off! You’re definitely over 65, right?”

January 18, 2009
At the grocery store, not looking my best. But I’m buying stuff with my mom. So the lady ringing up our purchases says to me, “Well, it’s back to school tomorrow!”

My reply? “Yes! Only one more semester until I graduate from middle school! I’m so excited about high school!”

Just kidding. I didn’t say that. I should’ve.

Three cases over the past 6 months. I’ll probably get carded until I’m 40. Hey, it works for me. I might look like a middle-schooler right now but I’ll look like I’m just entering my 20’s when I’m 30! Booya!

Here’s a picture. You decide. I chose this picture because when my mom took it, I thought, “I look like I’m 12.” I think it has to do with the face that my nephew is so long. He’ll be my height when he enters kindergarten. Now, that’s a sad fact of life.



February 7, 2009

Yayyyy! I got The Call yesterday at 10:30 a.m. and boy was I ever happy! I actually pysched myself out saying that I probably wouldn’t get the call and to move on. It’s my way of dealing with things. It works for me.

So, I don’t exactly know if I’m going to be in infants or toddlers but both ages are my favorites so yay! As long as I’m not with the two-year-olds or VPK kids, I’m good. 🙂

The first week is kinda weird. On Monday and Tuesday, I’ll go in for 3 hours where I’ll be with the kids and be observed. I guess this is to make sure you have a good rapport with the kids and aren’t prone to beatings. Monday, I’ll go from 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. and on Tuesday, I’ll go from 9 a.m. – 12 p.m. Wednesday, I have orientation from 1 p.m. – 4 p.m. in their main office and then Thursday, I go back to the main office to sign papers and the like. I think I also get fingerprinted and take a drug test that day, too. I’m not sure, though. And Friday I’ll start my regular hours, 12 p.m. – 6 p.m.



I am so, so, so happy. My bank account won’t be in the red anymore! I can actually pay more than the minimum balance on my credit cards! I can help Mom out with rent and actually have my own phone plan! I can pay for school! Oh, and the most important: I can get my hair done!!! Yay!

Fingers crossed

February 4, 2009

I decided to break this post into 3 parts, since so much has happened in the past 18 or so hours.

Part I: My Dad
So, my dad got out of jail yesterday afternoon. And guess who he decided to ring up? My brother. My brother, who has a 4-month-old son that Dad knows nothing about. Well, Dad called Mark (after not talking to him in at least 6 months, but probably longer) asking Mark to go over to his ex-girlfriend’s house and get some stuff for him. That’s right. He wanted Mark to help him out. And my dad had the audacity to tell Mark, when it comes to calling each other, “It’s a two-way street.” Sure, yeah, OK. Let’s run-down the past 3 calls from my dad to Mark: (1) When Dad was in jail early in 2007 and asked Mark for money; (2) Called to say his life sucked and he was ending it; and (3) A call to say he was fine but needed Mark to help him out. Whenever Dad calls, it’s always when he wants something. I haven’t spoken to him in 14 months. I know he won’t call me because (a) he lost my cell phone number and (b) he knows I won’t put up with his crap. I was through with him when he went to jail when I was in high school and I told him so. I love him because he’s my dad but I hate him because he’s my dad. And Mark finally saw the light a few years ago but Dad still thinks he can mooch off Mark. And Mark’s not having any of it.

The sad thing is, my dad stayed for one night with one of his loser friends from back in the day and told Mark he’s going to a shelter today. It’s really sad because he has pushed away so many people and now has no one. He really had it good: when I was in 9th grade, he was living with my uncle free and going to school to become a barber. Unfortunately, he really messed that up. I wish I could reach out to him but I’m so afraid of getting my heart broken again.

Part II: Job hunting
In more happier news, I have a solid lead for a job. Today, after my morning class, I went to my old job because they were hiring. The minute I stepped into the building, I got this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just wanted to leave. The director told me I had to have my CDA to work there (which I didn’t need when I worked there previously) so blegh. But, inside, I was happy. I was bummed because it meant I was back to square 1 but the director there is not a very nice person (she was rather rude to me). And tons of teachers have left because of her.

So I came home and called Payless, PETCO, and a bank to see if they were hiring. No on the first two and the bank was only hiring a loan officer, with which you need 5 years of experience for. So then I called another daycare since I had seen on my way to school that they were hiring. They were hiring full-time and part-time, and with the part-time position you don’t need a CDA. So I went in and applied and saw a friendly, familiar face. A girl I had worked with at the previous daycare was working there now and gave me a super-good reference. I talked with the director who seems soooo nice. The positions they have are 12 p.m. – 6 p.m. in either the infants or toddlers.

If I can get this position (especially in the infants room), I would be bursting with joy. I love, love, love, LOVE infants. It was my favorite room in my old daycare. So, fingers crossed! I should find out by Friday if I got the job. 🙂

Part III: The Dog
Well, today The Dog  had a nice, tasty treat. I was popping some popcorn and had a plate sitting by the computer on a low table. Well, on the plate were brownies (ugh, please don’t ask. We had WAY TOO MUCH food left over from the Superbowl) and the stinker ate one! It was one of those Chick-Fil-A brownies but halved so I looked online and it gave some common symptoms – none of which The Dog is exhibiting. A bad reaction would cause him to vomit, be extra hyper, and urinate frequently. He’s been sleeping for a while.

He had a really guilty look on his face, though. I stuck him in my room for a few minutes for time-out (but, really, all he does is get up on my bed and sleep…) and tried to see if maybe he didn’t really eat the brownie but I can’t find the other half anywhere. So we’ll be keeping a close eye on him! He seems fine right now.

Anyway, that’s it from here on the homefront. Gosh. I hope I get that job. That’d be sweet! The hours are perfect, too. I have my story that was due today already finished (so many people were still working on theirs…HAHA!) so I’m going to relax for a while and do a little homework. Tonight, I’m visiting my brother and precious nephew. I’ll try to get some pictures because he’s SO BIG! He’s about 18 lbs and just turned 4 months! Crazy, I tell you.

Don’t put all your eggs in Obama’s basket

January 21, 2009

So, of course, as any good blogger would, I have to write a post about the most historic day in history. (Is that redundant? Oh well.)

Yesterday, January 20th, 2009, our first African-American President was sworn into office. I watched all the pomp and circumstance from 8 in the morning until 4:30 in the afternoon. And it was magical.

It was just amazing to see all those people show up, to hear all of their stories, and to see how hopeful they are. President Obama is coming into office with a 71% (that number might be skewed, but it’s in the 70’s) approval rating. If I remember correctly, the last time a President came into office with numbers like that was President John F. Kennedy.

So yesterday was a day filled with celebration, parades, and balls. President Obama had to go to TEN balls last night! And today the real work starts.

I voted for Obama. I am a Republican and quite conservative by many standards but I like the way Obama ran his campaign over John McCain. McCain spent a lot of his campaign bashing Obama. Of course, bashing your opponent is nothing new but I feel like McCain spent 80% of his campaign bashing and 20% letting the people know what he would do if he became president. While Obama spent 80% of the time letting the people know what he would do if he became president and 20% of the time bashing McCain. And his ideas made sense.

And, honestly, George Bush screwed us up. Big time. I was never a Bush hater. I rolled my eyes at “Countdown to 2009” bumper stickers and tuned out the bashing. He was my president and I was going to respect him no matter what. But he really didn’t do a good job, plain and simple. Our economy is terrible, this situation in Iraq is such a mess, and important issues such as healthcare and education were never addressed it seems.

And I’m not putting all my hope in Obama. Yes, I think he’s the change we’re looking for. He is new, fresh, and young. He has some great ideas. But he’s not going to solve all our problems. He is going to do his best but he is just one man.

Honestly, if I’m going to put my hope in someone, I can think of Someone much better. I got Someone on my side who rose from the dead, walked on water, and made blind men see. Jesus didn’t give a year-long campaign saying what He was going to do if you would just accept Him as Savior. He did things, whether people liked it or not. He’s the one I’m putting my hope in. Someone I know will deliver on His promises and could never, ever disappoint me.

I am looking forward to the next 4 years with President Obama. I think he will bring a lot of needed change to our country. I do think his approval rating will go down within the year but that’s life.

And, come on, his daughters are just way too cute! Malia, who is 10, is gorgeous and so composed and confident. It was so cute how she was taking pictures during the inauguration. And little Sasha, who is 7, makes me smile every time I see her. She does like to bounce, it seems! They are adorable and it’ll be fun watching them grow up!