It’s all relative…

Yesterday, I had my second-to-last Appropriate Practices for Infants and Toddlers class which is a class I have to take for my job. Basically, it’s everything I already knew and a “If You Don’t Have Common Sense, Here’s What To Do,” type of course.

Anyway, my instructor who is a director for a Catholic church daycare, had her supervisor in class and she was observing her. And I could tell that my instructor was nervous and trying to do her best. I felt for her because I knew what that was like. She wasn’t herself and had trouble remembering words (English is actually her second language, although she speaks it very well with a slight accent).

Just 5 months ago, I was in the same position. I had spent the past 2 1/2 years thinking I was going to be an elementary school teacher. I would have graduated with my Bachelor’s in December except my last internship went terribly. You can read all about it here. I was interning in a fourth-grade classroom and had 2 teachers supervising me every single day. Once they left the classroom, I was so much more comfortable and things came easier for me.

But when my teachers were in the classroom, I was nervous and fidgeting and trying to remember my words, and English is my first language! Needless to say, my so-called supervising teachers (they didn’t do much supervising. . .) told my supervising professor (who never had much faith in me to begin with) that they couldn’t pass me which caused me to change my major, lose my financial aid, and force me to pay for my own schooling.

I still catch myself daydreaming about being a teacher, though. Just the other day, I was thinking about room arrangements and how classroom’s I’ve been in have arranged classrooms and how I would arrange my classroom someday. Until I realized that I will never have my own classroom. I get a little melancholy when I drive by elementary schools.

I really enjoyed the kids, especially the fourth-graders of my last class. They are full of energy and life and tell the best stories ever! I mean, I love my babies and toddlers and when I’m helping out in the older kids’ rooms, that’s fun, too. That’s what makes me a little sad about not doing elementary education anymore. The kids made all of it worthwhile.

I am happy with my new major and I think it’s the right fit for me. But I still miss those fun classes where we did art projects and pretended that we were seven years old again and I definitely miss those cheeky kids.

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2 Responses to “It’s all relative…”

  1. shalay Says:

    Aw, that’s too bad! But can’t you still be a teacher someday? Maybe just do your student teaching at another school with different supervisors. But I like to think that everything happens for a reason. Maybe it was a good thing you’re on a different path now.

  2. Stephany Says:

    Actually, I was going to do that. I spoke to the head honcho at my school and was going to do my internship again in another district which they thought I might have more success with but the more I thought about it, the more I realized my heart wasn’t in it anymore. And my supervising teachers really made me doubt my abilities in EVERYTHING so I don’t know if it would have been a success anyway. 😦

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