The Bay – A brand-new reality series

I’m thinking of approaching MTV or FOX or some channel for a reality TV series. Because my life would make an excellent show. Honestly. There’s never a dull moment.

Let’s recap the past 2 1/2 days:

-I go to my orientation at the main office which I’m almost late to but make it right on time.

-Afterwards, I have some time to kill so I head to Panera to get some free WiFi and a delicious Icy Mocha. And for the past few weeks, the cord on our ready-for-the-nursing-home laptop hasn’t been working. We’ll plug it in but it acts like it’s working on battery power. And since this laptop is, oh, about 5 years old, it’s battery lasts about 5 minutes before it dies. So we have to jimmy the cord and blow on the socket to get it to go to cord power. So, I’m at Panera and can I do my gymnastics to get it working there? No. I can’t. So I’m trying to finish writing an article for my class that’s due at midnight and luckily, I was able to e-mail the story to myself before it died. And it’s been dead ever since. We need a new cord.

-Go to Mark’s apartment later that night, finish the story and send it off into cyberspace, play with my freaking delicious nephew for a while, watch American Idol (find out it’s TWO hours, not ONE and miss about 20 minutes, and in those 20 minutes they happened to mention the best friends and I guess the widower made it but the other didn’t? GAY!), and go home.

-Mention to my mother, “Say, do you know where my social security card is?” Spend the hour after AI tearing apart my room looking for the card and, yeah, my social security card IS MISSING! Although, nobody would want to steal my identity. I have $20,000 in school loans and another $3,000 in credit card bills and no stocks or any of that crap to my name. Good luck! Cry, whine, shut down. My usual thing. Mom gives me my birth certificate, saying they might take that. I say they won’t.

-Go to “intake” where I sign my life away for this job and the sweet H.R. lady says the 11 most precious words in the English language (at least on that day): Do you have your social security card or your birth certificate? And suddenly a halo appears around her head and a choir of angels begin singing, “Hallelujah!”

-All my problems solved, I continue signing my life away, find out I’m making the most I’ve ever made at this job, and have a quarter-tank of gas left to go to the other side of town to be fingerprinted and take a drug test (ewie!) and then back to the other side of town to give them the paperwork, then back to the other side of town to go home. And as I’m driving right out of my complex to pick Mom up from work, our gas light comes on. I have about a buck in my bank account, Mom has a little over so she transfers money so now I’ve got TWO DOLLARS AND NINETY-NINE CENTS to buy gas with. I manage to get to our nearest gas station (which actually isn’t so near. . .) and fill ‘er up. One and a half gallons. Woohoo! Gets us back to a quarter tank of gas – which can get us pretty far.

-Get some mail, saying since I stopped attending classes on October 29th, 2008, I owe USF over $700 and can’t register for classes until then. Yippee! I only need about $1,400 to pay stupid USF. Don’t they make enough money?

-Yesterday, go to Hell-Mart to buy a plug, find out, buy it, find out it’s not a LAPTOP PLUG! Um, we obviously don’t know how to read directions. So now we’re back to square one.

And that’s not the worst of it! The worst of it is that I actually started WRITING MY STORY that I’m going to get published and make millions with and left it at the hair salon! BLEGH! It was freakin’ awesome, too.

Anyway, so I had to wake up early to go to the library, where I am now. I took a test for my class (made an A!), e-mailed some people for my next stupid article, and caught up with my Celebrity Baby Blog (I haven’t read it for FOUR days! Do you know how much can happen in the baby world in four days? I’ll tell you: Kevin Costner’s wife had her baby and Mira Sorvino announced she’s preggers again AND Foo Fighter’s Dave Grohl announced they were expecting a girl!).

Anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day! Mom and I bought some cheap-o chocolate at Hell-Mart and it was disgusting. If I wasn’t so addicted to chocolate, I’d never eat it again.


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